Confessions of a Total World Dominator

Oh it's so wonderful outside! I do wish for snow, but this will do for now! I think dinner outdoors will just have to happen today! I hear that it's supposed to rain all day tomorrow, which is probably just fine too as long as it's warm....
I have had some extremely bizarre dreams in the past few days. I'm starting to wonder if I'm taking illegal drugs without my knowledge... Children drowning in cement, Oklahoma (I've never even been to Oklahoma) And working in a cornfield, playing Sims with Intervarsity staff, owning a sheep named Meg, living in a Catholic Orphanage that lives like like a musical, gang members, it's all just insane! Maybe I'm having these dreams because nothing else is happening in my life right now, well at least nothing interesting!
Ruthanne and I wandered down some random backroad last night so we could see the stars. It was so beautiful. They were out in full force last night! We didn't see any shooting stars though, not like Cedar Campus last summer! Now that was cool. If you haven't heard about that, just ask because that was really great! My roommate hasn't gone to sleep yet! She was up all night working on her choral arrangement..... bad Kay. Well I guess it was good that she was doing homework, but sleep is important!!!! Maybe I should just knock her out! Nah! She'll sleep soon!
Now it's time for a story......
Once upon a time there was a villiage of cute little elves deep in the woods. They were known as the Snookie People to those who lived on the edge of the woods. The Snookie people were feared by all, even though they were absolutely harmless and so very cute. The problem with the people at the edge of the woods was that they were astoundingly ugly and scared of all that was cute and harmless. The Edge People, as the Snookies called them, armed themselves with clubs and swords in order to protect themselves from the adorable Snookies. Every night before the Edge People would go to bed they would hold a lottery to appoint a guard for their villiage. The person chosen to be guard had to sit at the villiage gate and watch for any attacks on them. Nothing ever happened, but the Edge people continued this ridiculous nightly ritual. The Snookies however, had no reason to protect themselves. They fell asleep every night without a worry that they would be attacked. One day one of the Edge People who was known as Hubert, began to protest the nightly protection ritual. He stood in the center of town and began to yell.
"Why must we live in fear! The Snookie People have never come near us, maybe they aren't scary after all! Maybe they're just really nice people who just want to live in the woods like us! I say we stop with this ridiculous behavior and stop worrying about them. Maybe we could even be friends!"
The other Edge People walked through the villiage glaring at Hubert. They were not about to stop their nightly ritual, let alone make friends with their horrid enemies.
"Oh shut your mouth Hubert!" cried another person named Claudia "Everyone knows that the Snookies are only out to terrorize us, stamp on our chickens and soil our quilts! Hoy! We need to protect ourselves from their evil, if we don't we will die!"
Hubert stared at Claudia in disbelief. These people were actually serious. They were scared of people they had never seen before and knew nothing about. He thought carefully before responding.
"You people make me sad. I must go and prove it to you. The Snookies are not out to do anything to us, and I will go to them tonight, so you can know this too!"
A hush fell over the crowd of Ugly Edge People. Would Hubert really do it? Go to the Snookies? Was he crazy? They began to beg him to change his mind.
" No you musn't! "cried one. "They'll eat you for supper!"
"They'll impale you with a plastic spoon!"
"Nail your tongue to a wall!"
"Send your dead burnt body floating down the river!"
"You can't go!"
People continued shouting the different fates that Hubert would face by going to their enemy, but Hubert didn't listen to them. He grabbed his sack, and walked through the gates that protected their little villiage. The people ran after him, but stopped dead at the gate, refusing to go any further. Silently they all shook their heads. They would never see Hubert again.
Meanwhile, Hubert had began his journey to meet the dreaded Snookie People. He had not an ounce of fear in him, and he walked at a brisk and determined pace hoping to reach them before nightfall. His people were wrong, and he was going to make sure that they knew it!
As he walked deeper and deeper into the woods things became happier. Flowers were in bloom, little woodland critters scurried about. The beauty sent a chill down Hubert's spine, but at the same time he found it pleasant, almost causing him to begin to skip. Within in the hour he had reached the villiage of the Snookie people. They were going about their normal days work singing and whistling happy tunes that brought a relaxed smile to Hubert's face, making the ugliness go away. He stayed on the path and began his walk through the villiage. At first, the Snookies didn't seem to notice him, they were busy running about, being productive and happy. He began to join them in their singing, but his voice clashed terribly with theirs. All of the Snookies stopped in their tracks and looked up to see what the unfamiliar tone deaf voice was. Hubert became quiet and stopped with them, giving them a look of fright.
The whispers began to reach his ears. He could hear them talking to each other trying to figure out what he was.
"My goodness!" said one of the little elves "Why I think it's an Edge person"
"No doubt about it! He's a big one! What should we do?"
"I don't know....how about we....give him some flowers!"
"And a party! Don't forget the party! With a cake, and some candles.."
" A feast! We simply must feast!"
"And make him the guest of honor!"
Hubert was a little confused, but was happy to hear that they weren't unhappy to see him. The elves began to dance and sing around him, the children jumped on him, and began chattering with questions. Hubert didn't know what to do, he just smiled and stood still.
"You really are good people!" he exclaimed. "I must take you all back with me!"
"Yes yes take us with you! We want to meet everyone! We'll bring the feast and party to them!"
Hubert and the elves took off for the Edge of the woods. They carried food, flowers, gifts, and they sang as they skipped down the woods path. Hubert hadn't even realized that he would look different to his people. His face had become happy, and he wasn't ugly at all.
The Edge people heard the commotion coming towards their villiage. They grabbed their weapons and assembled at the gate.
"They've come for the rest of us! We must fight!"
Hubert saw his people at the gate and ran ahead.
"Everyone!" He yelled."I've brought them, they're not evil!"
He kept yelling, but his people didn't recognize him. They ran at him screaming with their clubs and swords. Hubert watched his people in terror.
"No! It's me! Stop! There's no reason to fight!"
They kept running and clubbed him over the head. The elves stopped and the Edge people stopped.
"Is that how you treat your people?" one of the elves asked
One of the women gasped.
It's Hubert! We've just killed Hubert."
I'm not completely dead." Hubert whispered.
"We've mortally wounded Hubert!"
"Actually I think I may pull through."
"Oh sweet Hubert! We are sorry to have seriously hurt you! We didn't realize..."
"I think I'm okay, I'm feeling much better, I think I can get up."
"No no, you just lie there, we'll take care of these elves...."
" NO you can't!" Hubert cried leaping up. "They're good, they really are. THey want to throw us a party. They've brought all the food!"
"And gifts! " A little Snookie exclaimed.
"We even have a clean up crew hired for afterwards!" another explaned.
"Y-y-you mean, Hubert was right, you aren't evil people who want to kill us?" Claudia asked.
"Oh no! We don't kill people! We are shrubers! We make, design and sell shruberies! Why would would we want to kill you?"
The Edge people blushed and shrugged their shoulders, not knowing what to say.
So the Snookies and the Edge people celebrated their new found friendship. Little by little all of the Edge People lost their ugliness to joyful smiles!! And it was all because of Hubert, an Exceptional Edge Person!

Wasn't that just beautiful! Right off the top of my head...I know scary....Don't ask me why I shared that with you, but I did! Have a great day! Get out there and enjoy it!